chrisdolley (chrisdolley) wrote,

It Never Used To Be Like This In My Day...

"I tried to get rid of them, but they were having a party, eating all my bread, bananas and avocados and swigging bottles of wine they had taken out of the refrigerator,” said Carol White, manager of the Camel Rock restaurant in the quiet village of Scarborough near Cape Point, South Africa.

And to make things worse they ran off without paying.

Not only that but they're above the law - immune from prosecution as they're under age ... and a protected species. Yes, the wine-swigging louts in question were in fact a group of baboons who, having been fed by tourists, had learned two things. One, humans are an inferior species put on this earth to feed baboons and, two, it's easier to steal food from a fridge than it is to find it in the wild. Put the two together and you get Scarborough, South Africa. A frontier town where no banana is safe.

The baboons have burgled houses, raided stores and intimidated inhabitants. Security bars can't stop them. The ingenious baboons push their babies through the bars and get them to open the window latches. They've even taken on the local dogs - the previous top species in Scarborough - in a gang fight. The dogs, with studded collars and mouthfuls of teeth, entered the town from one end while the baboons, in leather jackets they'd stolen from the local store, clicking their fingers and whistling extracts from West Side Story, sashayed in from the other side. Mayhem ensued.

And the animal crime spree is not confined to baboons.

Elephants from the Ang Lue Nai wildlife sanctuary in eastern Thailand turned to crime in 2003. Large numbers blocked roads and used their trunks to steal sugar cane from lorries.

Colin Jones, a builder, hired a bodyguard this year after being attacked by seagulls in Brighton. Steve Jackow followed him wearing a fluorescent bib and a referee’s whistle.

Chippy, a male chimpanzee, was exposed in 2001 as the perpetrator of heavy-breathing phone calls after staff at Blair Drummond Safari Park, in Stirlingshire, recognised his shriek. He had stolen a keeper’s phone and learnt to operate the redial button.

Lewis, a pet cat, was placed under house arrest in Connecticut last year after attacking an Avon lady. He was ordered to stay indoors for the rest of his life.

It's a dangerous world out there, humans.
Tags: animals, baboons, elephants, humor, humour

  • New Steampunk Anthology

    Back in November I posted an extract of "What Ho! Automaton," my Wodehouse steampunk novelette. Well, the anthology is now out, and…

  • What Ho! Automaton

    As I haven't posted here for some while - I've been away blogging every Saturday at Book View Cafe - I thought I'd post a snippet from a new…

  • Dark Matter, String Theory and Kittens

    New evidence this week has suggested that Dark Matter is composed of a complex web of superstrings. Not ordinary superstrings – but super…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.