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A Kitten's Guide to Looking After Your Human - Chris Dolley's Journal

About A Kitten's Guide to Looking After Your Human

Previous Entry A Kitten's Guide to Looking After Your Human Feb. 7th, 2007 @ 12:25 pm Next Entry
Humans need protecting because they know two secrets: One, the combination to the fridge and, two, the spell required to open food tins. So, until Kitten Command unravel the human code, we kittens have to watch them like kittyhawks.

Lesson One: Eternal vigilance. Humans are a much predated species and must be protected from mice (bubonic plague); birds (avian flu); spiders (hysteria and fear of unwaxed legs); beetles (60s hysteria) and over-eating (obesity - not a disease amongst kittens)

The best way to do this is to check ahead. If your human plans to enter a strange room it's your duty to go ahead and check for danger.

Here we see Xena, having swept the loft for birds and mice, announcing the stable clear and safe for humans. "Clear!"


Remember danger is everywhere - even inside the house. Here we see Kai making sure the stairs are clear and free of pythons (a rare but necessary check. Kitten's can never be too careful)


And don't forget that even a stationary human can be in danger. Here we see Kai demonstrating the art of 'close bowl protection.' Yes, kittens have to get that close - too far away and another cat - or worse, a dog - might sneak in and get a nose in the defenceless human's bowl.


Remember the human has to eat just the right amount of food - too little and they're too weak to open a ring pull can, too much and they can't bend down to open the food cupboard door. So all kittens must watch carefully, count the spoonfuls of porridge going from bowl to mouth, and intervene if the human is eating too much. The human will thank you later. Maybe.


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From:angiet
Date:February 7th, 2007 01:48 pm (UTC)
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I never realised how much care our kitties have to take of us. Elwood also throughly checks my bed for me each night and makes sure I get a good nights sleep by testing out the softness of my pillow for me.
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From:chrisdolley
Date:February 7th, 2007 02:23 pm (UTC)
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All part of essential kitten etiquette:)
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From:faithib
Date:February 7th, 2007 06:03 pm (UTC)
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That was great!
I enjoyed your writing and your pics.
thanks for sharing that.
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From:faithib
Date:February 7th, 2007 06:06 pm (UTC)

can i make you a friend?

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I saw this on kittypix.
I hope you don't mind if I add you as a friend.
I'd like to read more you have written about your cats.
You are great!
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From:chrisdolley
Date:February 8th, 2007 07:02 am (UTC)

Re: can i make you a friend?

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The more friends the merrier:)
From:(Anonymous)
Date:February 10th, 2007 09:06 am (UTC)
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Is this why my cats refuse to leave me alone? Now I understand! Thanks for sharing the secret with the Carnival of Family Life.

Local Girl
An Island Life
http://islandlife808.com
From:jhsiess
Date:February 11th, 2007 10:07 pm (UTC)
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The Carnival of Family Life will be posted later today. Come on by and review all the wonderful submissions. There are a lot!

From:(Anonymous)
Date:February 12th, 2007 05:18 pm (UTC)
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All valuable lessons! Too cute and too true. Here from the CFL.:O)

Mary http://almostsomewhatpositive.blogspot.com/
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