Lagos Cat Pound,
I am Fluffy, the favourite kitten of the late president of Nigeria. As you know my late master was very very rich man and he left me all his tuna. But, as kitten, I not allowed to have fridge of my own.
My good friend, there are many many fishes and without more fridges tuna go bad. I eat as many as I can but I small kitten and much sick. So I write you, my very good friend, as your name well known in Nigeria as godly person with many fridges.
If you help store my tuna I give you 20% (TWENTY AMERICAN PER CENTS) of each fish - including heads.
Please be writing back soon. Weather hot and there are many bad cats looking with the eyes at my fishes.
Your good friend,