May 30th, 2007

International Kittens of Mystery

The Return of the Kai

A new svelte Kai has returned form International Kitten of Mystery Rehab. Readers may remember the consternation in International Kitten of Mystery circles over the full-figured superstar's weight. A situation that came to a head when he became stuck under a sideboard (I think James Bond had a similar problem in Casino Royale with a Russian tabby) and needed an extraction team with an extra large tub of grease to pull him out.

Following Kai's debriefing - and degreasing - it was decided urgent measures were called for. So after a strict regime of diet mice and vole lite, a new Kai has emerged. And, no longer the fat cat of the spook world, Kai is now licensed to swing from very high places.

Witness his first mission. Enemy agents are holed up in barn. They've planted explosive charges around the doors and windows. There's only one way in - up the wisteria, under the eaves and squeeze in through a minuscule gap in the roof.

Here we see Kai climbing the wisteria. Look, no grease!

Now he's looking for the gap under the eaves and, ever the showman, putting on a wobble for the cameras.

Then he leaps! Catches hold of something with his front paws and dangles for several seconds. His back paws claw air. His fellow international kittens of mystery hold their collective - and very mysterious - breath. Can Kai swing it?

Now, an evil blogger would end this post with a kaihanger. Tune in next week to find out if Kai survives! But... as I'm currently not evil here's the conclusion. Kai hauls himself up, under and through. Once inside, he leaps from a very great height onto the straw bales below. "Make my day, voles," he says in a Dirty Tabby voice and the voles immediately surrender.

Here we see Kai posing amongst the straw bales for the debriefing cameras and thinking about supper.