January 15th, 2007

International Kittens of Mystery

Giant Rabbits Invade North Korea!

World Exclusive!

Many of you will have seen last week's story about giant German rabbits being exported to North Korea. The rabbits, specially bred by German farmer Karl Szmolinsky (pictured below - he's the one on the left) were reportedly to be used to alleviate North Korea's food shortage.

But yesterday a Pentagon source revealed a more sinister motive behind North Korea's purchase. "We think they're building an army of super soldiers - giant ninja bunnies that can reproduce faster than we can take them out."

When questioned, a British intelligence spokesman revealed that the EU had known about North Korea's ninja bunny plans for some time but had refused to block the giant rabbit export.

Today, in a world exclusive I can reveal why.

For the past month the English, French and German military have been recruiting 'little' people. These small soldiers, trained on a diet of lettuce and carrots, have been dressing up as giant bunnies in an attempt to pass themselves off as Giant Continental Rabbits.

Sources tell me that, if successful, these soldiers will be sent to North Korea with the initial shipment of rabbits. "It's risky," said one source, "But it's the only way to get an agent close to Kim Jong Il. We know he intends to replace his personal guard with super rabbits. It's too good an opportunity to miss."

But dressing up as a rabbit is not without danger. Below we see a nervous-looking Private Kevin Harvey about to be introduced to a large male rabbit. A large amorous male rabbit.