June 26th, 2006

International Kittens of Mystery

World Cup: More Predictions

With three successful predictions out of four, the magic pendulum returns. In fact a detailed analysis of the multiverse showed that Holland beat Spain in 98% of realities. And only in this one did the referee issue 16 yellow cards, four red and turn the match into a nine-a-side lottery (although in one reality he issued five purple cards and scored a hat trick). So, adjusting for reality, the magic pendulum claims a perfect four out of four. Don't you just love multiverses?

And now we come to today's games. First we have Italy v Australia. On the face of it this looks an easy game for Italy but Italy have a history - almost as long as England's - of self-destruction and being the victims of strange refereeing decisions (probably why Italian league teams now prefer to choose their own referees:) So, the pendulum swings, it sees red cards, it sees drama and ... it sees a victory for Italy. Just.

Next up is Ukraine v Switzerland. This looks like a lottery, neither team are likely to progress much further and a draw seems likely. The magic pendulum, using a Toblerone bar as a weight, goes for Switzerland after extra time.

Tomorrow we have Brazil v Ghana. Ghana will aim to emulate Mexico and really take it to the Brazilians. The magic pendulum sees red cards. And goals. But Brazil hang on to win.

Finally we have a classic, France v Spain. A match that comes about two years too late for France. Spain are now the coming team and France - like England - have a team of individuals who cannot seem to play together. How can a team with Henri in it score so few goals? The magic pendulum agrees. Spain go through.